"What does Blood-related mean Momma?"

We went to celebrate Christmas with Silas' birth family today. I remember how nervous we were the first time we met them 10 Christmases ago. We were SO nervous and had no idea how we would be received. We were at the beginning of our open adoption relationship with R, and she wanted us to meet her extended family on her father's side. There were grandparents, aunts, uncles, and lots of cousins. They welcomed us with open arms, but I'm sure somewhat warily. I've never asked them, but I wonder if they were scared too. How would this work? Could it work? What would it be like for two moms of the same baby to be in the same room and how would we handle the scrutiny of a large family? I felt like I was on display, my every interaction with R and R with Silas watched by her family. Even though that is how I felt, I have no idea if it was really what happened. It was an emotional time for sure, but we got through it. We have not missed a Christmas since. They love us. We love them. We are invested in each others lives, even if we only see them a couple of times a year.

So back to the question. On the way home Silas asked Stephen if he knew how many brothers he has, and also did he know that he has a sister too. "Well", I said, "not exactly." Scott and I began to explain about biology and blood relations. You know, the technical scientific stuff. The boys know all about their birth moms, who belongs to who, I mean we talk about adoption on a fairly regular basis around here! I know that it is hard for their minds to make sense of it all. I know R has had the same kind of conversation with her step daughter about Silas not technically being her brother as he is to T and S.

The boys getting ready for presents!

Great Grandma M, Great Uncle R, and cousins!

Great Aunt T knows Silas quite well...and his love of all things John Deere!

The kids are the center of attention!

 S rocking her new Dora shoes!

 Cornhole competition was fierce!

 R and S

 The brothers fishing together

 ...and throwing rocks together!

 The siblings....I could NOT get the three of them to look at the same time!

R with her 3 babies!

So.... after all that, we just told them that your family includes all of those you love and who love you back. We are so privileged that we have been so warmly received and counted as family by those that WE are not "blood-related" to!!!!

This post also serves as a contribution to Open Adoption Roundtable HERE!