Pumpkin Day...

...at least that's what the boys were calling it, so we went with it!! Not exactly a "holiday" we celebrate overly much, but we do participate in the festivites nonetheless. I was working

(of course), so Scott made the rounds: Mamaw & Papaw, then to see me at FL, then on to Grandma and Granddaddies, then to his brother Monty's house to go with their grandkids (yes, we are old parents, our neice Ashley has kids the same age as ours!) After that, he took them to our church for "Trunk or Treat". The batteries on the camera were dead by then, so I didn't get much---but then again, Scott's not the picture takin' type, so I'm lucky to get what I got
(right Dumplin'??)

Taylor the Ninja, SUPER Stephen, and Captain Jack Sparrow Silas!!

Visiting Momma at work

Silas, Stephen, Taylor & Joshua getting ready for some treats!!

Open Adoption Roundtable #20 : Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption & host of Open Adoption Bloggers

Open Adoption Roundtable #20 : Production, Not Reproduction A blog about open adoption & host of Open Adoption Bloggers

The prompt for this roundtable discussion is about "siblings in open-adoption."

It's SO interesting that this very real dynamic has just played out in our family. Here's the gist of it:

We had not seen our oldest son's birth mom R for 17 months. Life circumstances, all of us busy, we just couldn't get together. R has 2 children younger than our son Silas--T is 3 (boy) and S is 18 months (girl). We always refer to them as R's kids, T & S. We have been unsure as to WHEN to introduce the idea that they are Silas' half brother and sister. I guess I was afraid to go into the whole "birds and bees" talk, he's just 8 years old. We were able to finally visit last weekend, so Silas got to play with both of them. On the way home after the visit, he said "Wow, I have a SISTER!". (I guess the idea of having a sister is special since he already has his everyday brother, Stephen). And so the explanations began. He gets the whole process about who's tummy he was in, why she chose us to be his parents, and how things changed that she is now able to parent T & S, whereas she wasn't prepared when Silas came along. We told him that we had not referred to them as his brother and sister just to save him the confusion and that we were waiting until we felt he could understand it completely. He said, "Mom, you know I'm smart--you know I could figure it out!". Yes, he is a very smart boy! We also talked about it being our responsibility to make sure the siblings are able to stay in touch while they are young, but as they grow, it will be their choice to have a relationship with one another. Silas assured us that he will go to see them when he is 16 and can drive himself! It was really good that the conversation evolved naturally, and we didn't have to make an "event" out of it. Maybe we should have had this conversation earlier, but it is so hard knowing when the right time is. I pray that both of our boys know that there is nothing that is off limits when it comes to their stories. There will come a time when these matter-of-fact conversations will be tough to have, just because both of them will come to fully understand the loss (and gain) that comes with adoption. I wonder too what kind of conversation the siblings will have with one another when they come of age. Will each side be resentful of the other side for what one had and one didn't? Will they accept that all of their parents made the right decisions at the time? Only time will tell, we just have to do the best we can for now.

Boys getting some birth momma love...no words necessary!

Trip to the Pumpkin Farm

Last Sunday, we took a trip to our local Pumpkin Farm, Riverbend. It was very HOT, so it did not feel very "Fall-Like", but we have to go when we can! We played on the playground, climbed on the tractors, and played in the round Pumpkin house. Then we hopped on the next wagon out and went out to pick our pumpkins. We all got off the wagon and proceeded to search the fields for the "perfect" pumpkins. Scott caught up with Silas and I and said "Where's Stephen?". Long story short, Stephen had gotten off the wagon, picked out a pumpkin, and got back on the wagon without us. Big brother saved the day, he ran back to the wagon and asked the driver to get his brother off before he went back to the farmhouse without us. That boy! Yes, my favorite saying, "There is no substitution for supervision." We just have to make sure one of us is on constant "Stephen watch".