Open Adoption Roundtable #16 : Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption

This is the first time I have participated in the Open Adoption Roundtable, a series of questions posed by Heather@Production not Reproduction. These pictures represent what open adoption "looks" like in our family:

Rebekah's extended family on her dad's side, Christmas 2006

Nikole with baby Stephen

Us with Rebekah and Silas at age 3

Stephen with his bio grandmother and great-grandparents

Open Adoption Roundtable #16 : Production, Not Reproduction A blog about open adoption

Imagine your child as an adult describing their open adoption experience. What do you hope they will be able to say about you? How did you view their other parents? In what ways did you support their relationship with them?

I hope that as adults, both of my boys will say that I did everything I could to support the relationships with their birth moms and their extended families. I want them to have seen me as loving and respectful and to say that I never tried to prevent them access to their biological families; that I did what I could to foster their relationships with them. I pray that they will see that I always had their best interests in mind, and that I never lied to them or kept anything from them that helps them understand who they are and where they came from.

People often question openness in adoption, especially the openness of our 2 situations, as they are consdiered WAY open by most standards. Even our adoption agency social worker says that she uses our family as an example of the "far extreme" of open verses open adoptions that may consist of only one visit per year. Glad we could be of service :o)

As I write this, we have just come back from dropping our 8 year old off to spend the weekend with his biological great-grandparents, great aunt, and bio cousin. Yes, we got "Do what???!!" from a couple of friends and family. The thing is, I don't want him to see a distinction between us and his bio family, I just want it to simply be "Family". I hope that the adult Silas (and Stephen) will see that we did not let fear or jealousy or whatever keep us from fully embracing all members of our extended family, by blood or adoption. Only time will tell...

We LOVE our backyard!!

The newest additions to our backyard-two tire swings!! We went to our Sunday School class social and Pastor Chris and Becky have one in the woods across the road from their house. So, that became the focus of Silas' world--we MUST have a tire swing for our yard! So, PaPaw hooked us up with two old tires (from somewhere) and we promptly (with the insistence of one single-minded almost 8 year old)hung the things. We spent 30 minutes throwing a hammer with rope attached to it up in the tree praying it would loop over the branch we had picked out. Silas said "How much longer it is gonna take y'all???" Good question. We took turns hiking that hammer heavenward until we thought our arms would fall off. Finally, VICTORY! Scott did it!
The second one was easier, I was able to reach that limb with a ladder. The tieing process wasn't so successful, and a young man that works with me at Food Lion fixed it properly when he came over to pour concrete under our screened-in porch. He said he couldn't stand it, it was just too awful for our boys to swing on a crooked swing!Here's to summer and lots of fun in our backyard!

Beach with Grandma & Granddaddy April 6-8

We had a GREAT time at Ocean Lakes Campground with Grandma and Granddaddy! Four adults and 2 VERY ACTIVE children in one camper could be a scary thought, but the boys did great and bedtime was without too much drama! The boys love the arcade, the golf cart, the putt-putt course and everything else about the campground. We went to two of our favorite places to eat: Texas Roadhouse for supper one night, and Prosser's in Murrel's Inlet for lunch one day. The weather was perfect, if not a little chilly at times, and the water in the kiddie pool was really cold, but it did not stop the boys. Stephen came to me with teeth chattering and said, "Come in the water mom, it's not cold!". Yeah, whatever. Momma did NOT fall for that one. We LOVE the beach and can't wait to go back. We may not make it again this year, Daddy has his heart set on Disney World in the fall....gotta save some $$$$ for that one!!

A visit with a friend

On March 16th, Stephen was able to reunite with an "old" friend!! They have not seen each other since they were babies, but they had fun getting to know each other. Emily's parents, Bo & Sharon, were in the waiting pool at our adoption agency the same time we were. Stephen was born Nov 19, and Emily was their Christmas surprise! The kids had a good time while Bo & Sharon had a meeting with CAS director Doris as they prepare to be in the waiting pool for baby #2! Praying for you guys!