What Our Open Adoption looks like this Christmas...

Silas, T & Stephen
Silas with Bekah & T

T, Silas & S

The whole gang at Silas' great-grandparents house

Stephen and his awesome new music maker

We adopted Silas and they adopted us!!

School Christmas Fun!!

Silas gave me a lot of flack for buying them matching shirts, his exact quote was

"IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY??!!"
But, as you can see, I am NOT the only mom who does these things :o)

Silas and his teacher, Miss Daniels!

Silas was the ONLY one wearing green, you could say he was easy to spot!!

His part was to tell how Christmas is celebrated in Italy

How sweet is this, holding his brother's hand in the hallway!

McAdenville-Christmas Town USA

Silas meets Mr. Snowman

It was super cold that night!

Most lights on any house in the neighborhood

What Christmas really means!

We would LOVE to have one of these!!

We made our annual trek to see the lights at McAdenville. We have figured out the formula- get there at 5:45 on Friday night before the crowd gets there! We were once again able to park by the lake and walk around. Most people just drive through, but we like the up close and personal tour. We had to walk behind Stephen and hold a blanket around him, he was shaking he was so cold.

Dressed up and ready to PARTY!!

Our niece Kristen got married on November 20th, the day after

Stephen's birthday!

Aren't they great looking together??!!

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Trey Winslett!

Look at that handsome 8 year old...

and his sweet little brother who will not stand still for a pose....

...unless he is forced to by his big brother!!
It was a beautiful wedding and we had a great time at the reception. The boys both did very well during the ceremony (which we were super excited about) and got to let loose a little at the reception. They clean up pretty good, don't they???

Stephen's party at Chuck E Cheese!!

This is the second cake, the first one was dropped on the way to the car by our oldest child...
Nikole and her dad, Grandpa Steve, with his little namesake!!

Stephen with Grandma Barbara

Silas helping his brother with his presents whether he wants the help or not!!

A good time was had by all!!!

Happy 4th Birthday Stephen!

What a BIG boy you are!! You keep us laughing with the new things you say. You LOVE chocolate milk like your big brother, and you are also partial to Chick-fil-A nuggets with Polynesian sauce! You love your Nintendo DS you got for your birthday (you got it early to keep you occupied on the way to Disney World) and you still love playing the Wii you got for Christmas last year. You insist that we apologize if we do something wrong and you get your feelings hurt really easy because you are very tender hearted. You're turning into a jokester just like your dad and big brother, very quick-witted too for your age! Mommy doesn't have a chance against all of you!

We so love watching you grow and grow. In fact, we can't keep up! At 4, you're wearing size 6-7 clothes and size 12 shoes. Your brother is 4 1/2 years older than you, but you are getting more and more of his "hand-me-downs" sooner than you should, but you think it's SO cool to get his stuff (I'm sorry to say that probably won't last much longer!)

Stephen Josiah,

you are definitely one-of-a-kind and we couldn't imagine life without you!

Our Latest Adventure....Disney World!!!!

We (read:Scott) have been planning this trip since March, and we had a GREAT time! The boys loved it, the lines weren't too long, so we actually got to do a lot of rides. Stephen's favorites were Splash Mountain and Goofy's Barnstormer in Magic Kingdom, and Test Track and Soarin' in Epcot. Silas liked everything that Scott liked, all of the roller coasters that I prefer to skip. We split up most of the trip, Silas and Scott in one direction and Stephen and I in the other. We got the dining plan for "free" when we booked it, so we did not spend ANY money on food (yeah!). Everything is so expensive there, we have put ourselves on the 4 year plan. We went when Silas was almost 4, and this time Silas is 8 and Stephen is almost 4. That puts our next trip in 2014, with an 8 year old and a 12 year old (I am NOT going to say how old we will be!). THAT should be a blast, right??!!

Pumpkin Day...

...at least that's what the boys were calling it, so we went with it!! Not exactly a "holiday" we celebrate overly much, but we do participate in the festivites nonetheless. I was working

(of course), so Scott made the rounds: Mamaw & Papaw, then to see me at FL, then on to Grandma and Granddaddies, then to his brother Monty's house to go with their grandkids (yes, we are old parents, our neice Ashley has kids the same age as ours!) After that, he took them to our church for "Trunk or Treat". The batteries on the camera were dead by then, so I didn't get much---but then again, Scott's not the picture takin' type, so I'm lucky to get what I got
(right Dumplin'??)

Taylor the Ninja, SUPER Stephen, and Captain Jack Sparrow Silas!!

Visiting Momma at work

Silas, Stephen, Taylor & Joshua getting ready for some treats!!

Open Adoption Roundtable #20 : Production, Not Reproduction | A blog about open adoption & host of Open Adoption Bloggers

Open Adoption Roundtable #20 : Production, Not Reproduction A blog about open adoption & host of Open Adoption Bloggers

The prompt for this roundtable discussion is about "siblings in open-adoption."

It's SO interesting that this very real dynamic has just played out in our family. Here's the gist of it:

We had not seen our oldest son's birth mom R for 17 months. Life circumstances, all of us busy, we just couldn't get together. R has 2 children younger than our son Silas--T is 3 (boy) and S is 18 months (girl). We always refer to them as R's kids, T & S. We have been unsure as to WHEN to introduce the idea that they are Silas' half brother and sister. I guess I was afraid to go into the whole "birds and bees" talk, he's just 8 years old. We were able to finally visit last weekend, so Silas got to play with both of them. On the way home after the visit, he said "Wow, I have a SISTER!". (I guess the idea of having a sister is special since he already has his everyday brother, Stephen). And so the explanations began. He gets the whole process about who's tummy he was in, why she chose us to be his parents, and how things changed that she is now able to parent T & S, whereas she wasn't prepared when Silas came along. We told him that we had not referred to them as his brother and sister just to save him the confusion and that we were waiting until we felt he could understand it completely. He said, "Mom, you know I'm smart--you know I could figure it out!". Yes, he is a very smart boy! We also talked about it being our responsibility to make sure the siblings are able to stay in touch while they are young, but as they grow, it will be their choice to have a relationship with one another. Silas assured us that he will go to see them when he is 16 and can drive himself! It was really good that the conversation evolved naturally, and we didn't have to make an "event" out of it. Maybe we should have had this conversation earlier, but it is so hard knowing when the right time is. I pray that both of our boys know that there is nothing that is off limits when it comes to their stories. There will come a time when these matter-of-fact conversations will be tough to have, just because both of them will come to fully understand the loss (and gain) that comes with adoption. I wonder too what kind of conversation the siblings will have with one another when they come of age. Will each side be resentful of the other side for what one had and one didn't? Will they accept that all of their parents made the right decisions at the time? Only time will tell, we just have to do the best we can for now.

Boys getting some birth momma love...no words necessary!

Trip to the Pumpkin Farm

Last Sunday, we took a trip to our local Pumpkin Farm, Riverbend. It was very HOT, so it did not feel very "Fall-Like", but we have to go when we can! We played on the playground, climbed on the tractors, and played in the round Pumpkin house. Then we hopped on the next wagon out and went out to pick our pumpkins. We all got off the wagon and proceeded to search the fields for the "perfect" pumpkins. Scott caught up with Silas and I and said "Where's Stephen?". Long story short, Stephen had gotten off the wagon, picked out a pumpkin, and got back on the wagon without us. Big brother saved the day, he ran back to the wagon and asked the driver to get his brother off before he went back to the farmhouse without us. That boy! Yes, my favorite saying, "There is no substitution for supervision." We just have to make sure one of us is on constant "Stephen watch".

Silas James, you're one of a kind!

Newborn Silas


14 months old

4 years old

8 years old!!


Silas, you are growing into quite the young man! Still all-boy, you love to wrestle with your brother. Suddenly you love school, it could have something to do with your new teacher, Miss Daniels. You love ALL things mechanical, you love to build with your Legos and K'nex, and you dare your brother to knock it down when you're done. When, not "if", he knocks it down or tears it up, you unleash a fury and a battle ensues. Your dad and I desperately try to teach you to solve conflicts in a more "loving" fashion, but you are still not hearing us! Your sense of humor is so wonderful, you are like a little miniature of your dad. You are quick witted and funny, and can easily get him on "made you look"! I just have to laugh and remind your dad that he only hisself to blame.

You are our firstborn, the one who made us parents, a role we thought we would never have. When the nurse placed you in our arms when you were just a couple of hours old, we cried tears of joy! What a blessing you are to us! I wanted to remind you of the poem your dad wrote to you when we first found out about you. You were due in 5 weeks, and your birth mom chose us to be your parents. We just couldn't believe it. That day, these are the words he wrote:

Silas James

You're our Miracle from Heaven above
a blessing from God, a gift of love.
You're our son, our answered prayer,
in our home you'll find loving care.
Silas James, you're one of a kind,
you're the piece of the puzzle we could not find.
By God's mercy, by his amazing grace,
you're a part of this family, you've found your place!

The County Fair!!

The first ride Silas rode when we got there. I had NO idea the thing would go THAT high in the air! And look at that gorgeous Carolina sky!

This was a cool ride! Stephen would not get on it, but Silas rode it twice

A RARE moment of brotherly love!!

Silas has turned into quite the adventerous one, riding all of the "big" rides by himself!
He said the second time he rode this one, he almost threw up, but loved it still!
Stephen being all cute for the camera!